As a woman you get your definition of what a man is from either a father figure or your mother figure’s interaction with a male. I grew up in a 2 parent house hold with a mom and dad. Given that I am African American this was rare in my time. Most of my ideas of what a man should be came from my father. Based on his presences in my life, I was able to define a masculine male as tall, assertive, resourceful, handy, powerful, strong, and virile. He should be some one you look up too. He should assert himself to aid you. He should be able to handle anything thrown at him. He should be able to repair, fix, create anything with his bare hands. Like superman he should be able to physically rescue you at any point. Most importantly he is so virile that he can get you pregnant in a blink.
As a single woman dating now I find myself lost and befuddled. These men don’t fit my check list that my daddy told me, what men should be like. Some are tall some are short. They don’t assert themselves with me. Most of the time I have to be the assertive one. If resourceful is calling someone else then they are resourceful. They aren’t that handy unless you count computer savvy.
These men are more sensitive, responsive, articulate, caring, thought provoking and talkative. All the qualities you told me were not masculine. Should I not love them? They share their feelings, ideas and ambitions. They show and express emotion. Should I not love them? They are not clubbing me over my head and dragging me to the cave. Nor are they making weapons out of sticks to hunt big game.
They are attentive, responsive, emotional, caring, though provoking men. Should I not love them?
When I meet them I’m perplexed by their demeanor, like there is something wrong with them. However, they treat your princess like the queen you told me I should be. Should I not love them?
Lastly, they eat Yogurt! You told me many times Men Don’t eat yogurt.
SHOULD I NOT LOVE THEM?
- Masculinity is … (southerndawn.wordpress.com)
- Dr. Peggy Drexler: Daughters, Too, Benefit From Influence of Good Dads (huffingtonpost.com)
- Culture’s Consequences (Part 4): Masculinity-Femininity (fairforall.org)
- Daddy’s Sexism May Influence Daughter’s Ambitions (livescience.com)
- Is Conventional Manhood to Blame for Violence Against Women? (clutchmagonline.com)
- Get it wrong and she’ll explode: But get it right and a father’s love will set up his daughter for life (dailymail.co.uk)