Lately I have been running into exes. The funny part is they are not my exes. Friends feel like I am an important person in their life that they feel the need to have me meet their current beaus. I am happy to be considered and important person in their life but some times I feel like they present their current beaus to me for approval. Of course I don’t encourage this behavior so I just say “He/She is nice or as long as they make you happy. I was judgmental before, and all it landed me was friends who continue to date that significant other out of spite for my judgmental disposition. I would get heated about the whole thing and that “SH#T didn’t have nothing to do with me. I would leave friendship due to poor choices in significant others.
Any who these exes of my friends have been contacting me not knowing that we met before and you dated my friend. If I didn’t think you were a good partner for my friend why would you think I would want to date you? Yes! Yes! I do have friends who date good guys but they were just not good matches at the time for my friend. Most of those guys I am friends with and they still remember that we met.
This ex of my friend actually got to meet my father. In short, my friend at the time was in a early stage relationship with this guy who I thought was not a good match. They were in separable. So much so that my friend at the time invited her beau to a dinner outing, which was suppose to be a dinner with my father to meet my friends. (Hint Hint: We are no longer friends because of this stunt). It was the most awkward dinner ever. At the end of the dinner the ride home with my father was like “Who the Bleep is that guy? Her beau at the time brought his friend to the dinner as well and I was like WTF? Now that same beau tried to contact me on a social media site saying he thought I was hot and we should get to know each other better? UHHHHH NO!
The moral of the story is friends should not incorporate significant others into the friendship group until their relationship has passed the infatuation/getting to know you phase. A minimum of 3 months or more depending on time spent with each other. I personally didn’t meet my sister’s boyfriend until 3 months into their relationship because I feel that at that point the relationship is serious enough for me to want to get to know the other person. Now me and my sister’s boyfriend have a level of mutual respect for each other and we are cool with each other. I consider him the little brother I never wanted. That is a compliment for me. Now if the relationship doesn’t work out I still respect him because he has earned that respect. Plus he won’t come back later trying to ask me out because he doesn’t remember we already met.
What are your thoughts people?
- Truth vs Myth: Exes Can’t Be Friends (everythinggl.com)
- 5 People You Are Not Friends With (thoughtcatalog.com)
- All Is Fair In Love And Frienship? (madamenoire.com)
- Holding On, Moving On, & Dealing with Your Ex (bangordailynews.com)
- Heart to Heart: Should U Dump Ur Friends For Ur Woman Or Man (doublesixfive.wordpress.com)