So I heard some terrible news today at work that one of our staff members died. The first thought was “Oh I am sorry for the loss”. Now as the day moves on I am kind of feeling awkward because I really didn’t know that person that well. Now I have to portray a semblance of sadness that is appropriate for the environment that I am in. If I am not sad enough then people might take offense to my non grief and if I am too sad them people might question my sadness.
I personally find grief awkward. I am a trained counselor and I am still not comfortable with grief. I know nobody is comfortable with grief but for me it is really difficult. I kind of feel like I am autistic when it comes to grief. I don’t know how to show the appropriate behavior for some one who is grieving. I think it is just me feeling bad for not feeling what they feel.
The other thing is that I don’t think about someone dying as a loss. I think about how they are free. I was at a friends house when one of her parents stated that people need to change how they feel about some one dying. He stated that when he spoke with his pastor, the pastor stated we should think of some one dying as that person being free. If you are christian or religious, this means that this person has moved on to a level where he/she needs nothing and can be all things possible for him/her.
Yes I know If I loss someone close to me I would be sad. How sad can you be for a co-worker if work is the only relationship you had with them?