A Retreat

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A Staycation Retreat

I decided before my 6 month post op surgery appointment that I needed a retreat. Since losing over 50+ pounds, I feel like I need some time to process the change. As I mentioned in The Mental Transformation page, most people don’t talk about the mental change that occurs when you lose over 50+ pounds of weight.

During a counseling visit I talk with my therapist about how when I look at my old pictures they look weird to me because they don’t look like me. I told him that I really don’t like them and that I like the memories that I had from the pictures better than I like the actual pictures. I told him that I wanted to get rid of all my old pictures because they do not incapsulate the memory I had of when the picture was taken. So this Staycation Retreat I decided to say  goodbye to my former self.

Given that I am a planner at heart, I research Staycation retreats and guess what it is a real thing. So basically, a staycation retreat is a time when you are not connected to the world by phone or internet. No tablets, no phones, no laptops, no desktops, etc… All you get to do is enjoy the great outdoors, read a book, and be present with yourself. That sounded great but I kind of added that I could watch DVD’s but it had to be scheduled TV time. I could not just sit down and watch randomly.

So I constructed an agenda that laid out my Staycation retreat starting Friday June 24th at 5:30pm and ending Sunday June 26th at 5:30pm. Forty-eight hours with no phone or internet. Here is my agenda: 

The main focus of the retreat was to be present with myself and come to terms with my weight loss change. Don’t get me wrong I love that I am finally getting this weight off but mentally I was struggling because this was new territory for me and I didn’t know how to deal with it. One of the biggest things I wanted to accomplish was to say goodbye to my former self. IMG_1450

How does one say goodbye to your former self you ask? By writing a kick ass Eulogy. So I worked on a Eulogy for my former self the whole week prior to my Staycation Retreat. Finally on Wednesday June 22nd I wrote the most perfect Eulogy for myself that encompassed my feelings of weight loss transition. It was so good that when I read it back to myself I wept. I felt like I got out what I really wanted to say to my former self in a way that was refreshing and didn’t feel like a loss but more of a release. Below is a link to my eulogy to my former self: Eulogy to my Former Self

I felt this was important for me because it allowed me to transition to my new self and not feel angry, sad, or worried about what I left behind. I felt as though if I kept on to my former self that I would do things that would self sabotage myself from losing all the weight because I am trying to keep something that is no longer needed.

So in order to move on in my weight loss journey, I had to release my former self. The important part is that I didn’t resent my former self because she did serve a purpose in my life. I didn’t want to spend my life in fear of my former self coming back. So I mentally released her. For me that gave me mental peace.

 

 

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